You should take a moment to relax before making any judgments. Having a new prospective significant other might make you nervous. A new relationship’s high is almost like a narcotic, and it should come with a warning label.

Those nerves might cause you to do things you wouldn’t ordinarily do. You may worry due to the stillness and do something dumb, such as sending him a stupidly long message that makes you appear needy, desperate, and, worst of all, obnoxious.

Thus, before you do anything, turn off your phone. Take a few deep breaths. Go do anything else for a few minutes, then return to the text you want to send.

2. Think about how long it has been.

Messaging a guy shortly after your date might make you appear needy and desperate, two of the worst things you can do after starting a new fling. Therefore you must determine how long it has been since you last spoke with him.

Wait it out if it’s only been a day and see if he texts you. If it’s been a few days and you’re really inquisitive about what he’s been up to, send him a text that will pique his curiosity and begin a conversation.

You don’t want to be trapped waiting for each other to text because you’re both terrified of appearing desperate. But you also don’t want to be ringing someone who isn’t interested in you. Patience is essential.

3. Get the advice of a friend

When it comes to someone fresh on the horizon, you might be a little prejudiced. See if you can obtain your friend’s perspective on whether it’s too soon to text him.

She’ll most likely offer you an unbiased response, and having a clear-thinking someone on your side never hurts.

However, keep in mind that good advice is meaningless if it is not followed. If your friend advises you to back off, then back off. What’s the purpose of even asking?

You’ll do your hardest to excuse whatever reason you can think of to text someone you genuinely like. This is why you need a second opinion from a friend. Guess what? They can sense neediness from a mile away. He can, too!

4. Examine your neediness and clinginess.

Someone who has gone on one or two dates with you does not owe you his time. It is much too early in the relationship to start setting demands about how quickly he responds to your SMS.

If he doesn’t text back, it might be because he is too busy or he doesn’t like you very much. In any case, double messaging and being clingy will not fix the problem.

Therefore, before you send that SMS, consider whether it would make you appear desperate. Would you feel irritated if someone texted you as soon as you texted him? Don’t text him yet if the answer is yes.

5. Do you always send a text message first?

If you’ve been messaging him for a long, consider this: do you always text first? If that’s the case, he might not like you all that much.

That may appear harsh, but if you are putting forth the effort to communicate with him, he may simply accept it. You deserve to talk to someone interested in you, not someone who thinks you’re simply “good enough.”

Stop texting first for a bit and see what happens. If the conversation comes to a halt, you have your answer.

6. Has he texted or otherwise contacted you?

If the two of you have already spoken and you’re considering starting a fresh chat, you’re free to give him a brief hello.

If he’s previously contacted you, he definitely loves chatting with you. In this case, you should be alright sending him the initial SMS this time.

But make sure you’re not usually the one who texts him first.

7. Has he replied to your prior text message?

Assume you’ve been chatting with this person for a long. Eventually, he simply quits. You text him, but he doesn’t respond. After a few days, you’re wondering if you should text him again.

No. You shouldn’t do it. If he dropped the discussion, he should resume it. If he doesn’t, you may reasonably conclude he isn’t interested in speaking with you and going about your business.

8. Determine your feelings for him.

The nerves from a first date can sometimes linger, giving us a distorted view of whether or not we genuinely like someone.

This means you’ll have to think long and hard about whether you genuinely like him or if you’re just enthusiastic about the prospect of a new fling.

9. Consider how the date went.

You should also reflect carefully on how your date with him went. Wait a day or two before texting him if it was total fun and you had a terrific time. That gives you both time to reflect on your amazing date and even miss the other person.

If the date went poorly but you still like him, text him that night or the next morning and tell him you’d want to go on another date.

He may believe he has already squandered his prospects, so this is an excellent moment for you to express your thoughts and get to know him better without appearing needy.

10. Consider what you would say.

You have a crush on him and his phone number, but do you have anything intriguing to say to him?

Don’t text him if you can’t think of anything to say and just want to receive that text back. Wait until you have anything to say or until he texts you first.

11. Are you upset with him for ghosting you?

So you’ve been dumped. We have a lot of information about what to do if you’ve been ghosted, but one thing you should NOT do is text the person who ghosted you.

Ghosting is a choice. He is now choosing not to communicate with you, and whether you like it or not, you must accept this. It may be tempting to send him a long, angry text message, but avoid the desire since you will almost certainly regret it.

You will be ghosted whether you text or not. You should go away with your head held high.

12. Text him if you have a cause to.

If you had an awkward moment on your date or if anything absurd happened and you feel compelled to text him an apology, by all means, do it. Do not wait for him to text you.

Reasons to skip these rules

Not all of these principles must be observed, and in certain cases, they should be avoided entirely. This is when you may disregard the preceding guidelines and text him right away.

1. Something amusing makes you think about him

It’s not the 1800s anymore. If you discover something amusing on social media and want to text it to him, go ahead and do so. This does not need much discussion on your behalf, and he will be pleased to have reminded you of anything.

2. You have important news about him.

We’ve all heard that certain things may happen on the first date *or even during a one-night stand* that can lead to some serious news.

If you have something incredibly essential to tell him, disregard all of the above restrictions and simply SMS him.

[Must Read: 17 Types of Girls You Should NEVER Fall For & Ways to Avoid Dating Them]

Don’t feel terrible if you prefer to text first.

Wanting to text your crush might drive you insane at times. This is quite normal. Don’t feel horrible or needy because you want to chat with someone. After all, you like them, therefore you should talk to them!

But, even with texting, there is a lot to be said about delayed gratification. Recall that the first few days are generally the most exhilarating.

Instead of rushing the process, try to appreciate the thrill and uncertainty that comes with starting a new relationship. It will be much more amazing when you receive that text from him!

When you’re racking your brain over the question, “should I text him first,” take a minute to get your bearings straight. You don’t have to take these steps EVERY time you want to test the same guy, but these guidelines can help you think through the butterflies.