Should I Text Him First or Wait for Him to Text Me
The age-old question, “Should I text him first?” But what are you supposed to actually do? We have the answers you’re looking for!
Communication is meant to be simple… So, what makes picking who will text first so difficult? When, if ever, should you text a guy first, whether it’s directly after a terrific date, tomorrow, or three days from now?
The fact is that this issue stems primarily from insecurity and what society has taught us is the proper way to tackle such a circumstance. These regulations may have been established with the greatest of intentions, but they are often limiting and, to be honest, unnecessary.
When you should text someone, there are no hard and fast guidelines. Every circumstance is unique.
The quick answer: should you text him?
1. Take a calming medication.
Those nerves might cause you to do things you wouldn’t ordinarily do. You may worry due to the stillness and do something dumb, such as sending him a stupidly long message that makes you appear needy, desperate, and, worst of all, obnoxious.
Thus, before you do anything, turn off your phone. Take a few deep breaths. Go do anything else for a few minutes, then return to the text you want to send.
2. Think about how long it has been.
Wait it out if it’s only been a day and see if he texts you. If it’s been a few days and you’re really inquisitive about what he’s been up to, send him a text that will pique his curiosity and begin a conversation.
You don’t want to be trapped waiting for each other to text because you’re both terrified of appearing desperate. But you also don’t want to be ringing someone who isn’t interested in you. Patience is essential.
3. Get the advice of a friend
She’ll most likely offer you an unbiased response, and having a clear-thinking someone on your side never hurts.
However, keep in mind that good advice is meaningless if it is not followed. If your friend advises you to back off, then back off. What’s the purpose of even asking?
You’ll do your hardest to excuse whatever reason you can think of to text someone you genuinely like. This is why you need a second opinion from a friend. Guess what? They can sense neediness from a mile away. He can, too!
4. Examine your neediness and clinginess.
If he doesn’t text back, it might be because he is too busy or he doesn’t like you very much. In any case, double messaging and being clingy will not fix the problem.
Therefore, before you send that SMS, consider whether it would make you appear desperate. Would you feel irritated if someone texted you as soon as you texted him? Don’t text him yet if the answer is yes.
5. Do you always send a text message first?
That may appear harsh, but if you are putting forth the effort to communicate with him, he may simply accept it. You deserve to talk to someone interested in you, not someone who thinks you’re simply “good enough.”
Stop texting first for a bit and see what happens. If the conversation comes to a halt, you have your answer.
6. Has he texted or otherwise contacted you?
If he’s previously contacted you, he definitely loves chatting with you. In this case, you should be alright sending him the initial SMS this time.
But make sure you’re not usually the one who texts him first.
7. Has he replied to your prior text message?
8. Determine your feelings for him.
This means you’ll have to think long and hard about whether you genuinely like him or if you’re just enthusiastic about the prospect of a new fling.
9. Consider how the date went.
If the date went poorly but you still like him, text him that night or the next morning and tell him you’d want to go on another date.
He may believe he has already squandered his prospects, so this is an excellent moment for you to express your thoughts and get to know him better without appearing needy.
10. Consider what you would say.
Don’t text him if you can’t think of anything to say and just want to receive that text back. Wait until you have anything to say or until he texts you first.
11. Are you upset with him for ghosting you?
Ghosting is a choice. He is now choosing not to communicate with you, and whether you like it or not, you must accept this. It may be tempting to send him a long, angry text message, but avoid the desire since you will almost certainly regret it.
You will be ghosted whether you text or not. You should go away with your head held high.
12. Text him if you have a cause to.
Reasons to skip these rules
1. Something amusing makes you think about him
2. You have important news about him.
If you have something incredibly essential to tell him, disregard all of the above restrictions and simply SMS him.
Don’t feel terrible if you prefer to text first.
Wanting to text your crush might drive you insane at times. This is quite normal. Don’t feel horrible or needy because you want to chat with someone. After all, you like them, therefore you should talk to them!
But, even with texting, there is a lot to be said about delayed gratification. Recall that the first few days are generally the most exhilarating.
Instead of rushing the process, try to appreciate the thrill and uncertainty that comes with starting a new relationship. It will be much more amazing when you receive that text from him!
When you’re racking your brain over the question, “should I text him first,” take a minute to get your bearings straight. You don’t have to take these steps EVERY time you want to test the same guy, but these guidelines can help you think through the butterflies.